


Ben's Favorite Movie

by Kkenn6721



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkenn6721/pseuds/Kkenn6721
Summary: This is just something I wrote about Peter Parker dealing with grief over losing Ben years later. Tony is in it, but it's mostly just Peter and May bonding.





	Ben's Favorite Movie

This used to be Ben's favorite movie. His father had introduced him to Star Wars, but Ben had liked nothing better than an Adam Sandler movie. He used to watch them all the time.

Peter had been at the tower all afternoon, working down in the lab with Mr. Stark. They did that every so often now, ever since homecoming. Not all the time- each invitation still felt special and exciting, making Peter giddy like a kid (which was embarrassing, but he couldn't really help it. This was Tony Stark). But it was often enough that Peter finally felt like he was allowed to be himself. He chattered away and worked next to Mr. Stark on the Spiderman suit, on cars sometimes, on whatever. It was amazing, and Peter loved every second. When Mr. Stark told Peter he could stay for movie night- with everyone- he'd said yes before he'd even called May.

His heart sank when they chose Happy Gilmore, but it wasn't really his place to say anything. This wasn't his movie night- he was lucky to be invited. He sat next to Mr. Stark on the huge sofa, almost distracted from his worry by the sight of BRUCE BANNER curling up on an armchair talking with THOR, the actual god of thunder.  
The Avengers were chatting and getting comfortable, and Friday dimmed the lights for them. Sam or maybe Steve or quite possibly both had made popcorn, and everyone was sharing giant bowls of it, and there were pretzels and Twizzlers on the coffee table. Peter felt light as air. This was amazing.

Then the movie started, and Peter's heart began to ache.

It must have been a million years since he'd seen this, sitting with Ben and May on their beat up second-hand green couch, spilling popcorn and hushing each other at the good parts. Ben always roared with laughter, and Peter used to love the way May glowed whenever she saw him laughing like that.

As the movie played, Peter kept hearing Ben laugh along with the others. When Happy hit a golf ball into his neighbor's house, he heard "My favorite part by far," whispered to him as if Ben was really there.

Something sticky caught in his chest. "Excuse me," he muttered, stepping over the legs of Natasha and Sam, who were sprawled on the rug. Mr. Stark looked at him curiously, but let him go.

He fumbled his way to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Sliding down the wall, he pulled out his phone and, without thinking or waiting or breathing, called the only person who could understand: May.

"Peter?" she answered on the first ring. "Honey? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm-" Peter said, realizing he was choked up. "I'm safe, we're fine."

May waited a minute, then gently prompted, "How's movie night?"

"We're watching Happy Gilmore," Peter said quietly. He let his eyes close, but kept the phone close. May sighed on the other end of the line.

"Oh, Peter…" she said. "Do you want me to come get you?"

Peter paused. "May-"

"Stupid question. Hard to answer," she said suddenly. "I'm coming."

"Thanks," Peter said quietly. He sighed. "And sorry."

"Don't be," she replied seriously. "Some things are harder than others."

"It shouldn't be so… I feel so… May, it felt like he was there." Peter dropped his head back on the wall with a soft thunk, cushioned by his curls.

"Yeah," May said softly, and he knew that when she sounded like this she got that faraway look in her eyes. "I used to feel like that all the time. I'd blink and expect him to be there, I'd turn and think he was standing behind me…"

Peter nodded, even though she couldn't see. "Do you still?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sometimes," she said.

"I miss him," Peter said softly, the words producing a pang in his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too, Peter," May said.

She was quiet on the other end, but didn't hang up. He heard the sounds of the road and the car. He looked around the bathroom for the first time- he'd sat on the floor right by the door, but the white tile seemed to stretch forever. The shower was glassy and spacious, and the little lights adorning the mirror looked like fairies. This bathroom was probably as big as his whole bedroom.

"You know," May said into the quiet, "It isn't a bad thing to feel the way you do right now."

Peter huffed a laugh. "It hurts."

"Maybe hurting is okay, for a while," May said. "I guess it just means we really loved him."

Another silence stretched on between them, and Peter played with the hem of his shirt. He could hear his own heart beating. His mind was swimming in memories, both old and new- of the lab, with Mr. Stark, of Ben, in that same old car…

"May, do you think we're moving on?" Peter asked, his voice impossibly small in the big white bathroom, and he didn't know which answer he wanted. He was afraid of both.

May paused. "Yes," she said finally, her voice cracked. "I think we're moving on."

Peter heard her cry once, and then stop, and he said, "It's okay. It's not the same as leaving him behind or forgetting. We still love him."

"Yes, we do," May answered, her voice coming out stronger now. "You're right. You're right."

"How close are you?" Peter whispered. "I've been in this bathroom the whole time."

May laughed a little. "I'm close. You can probably wait in the lobby if you don't want to see any more of the movie."

"What should I tell them?" Peter asked nervously. "Why should I tell them I have to leave?"

"Just say that I needed you to come home after all, and that I'm picking you up." May answered firmly. "Mr. Stark can call me if he wants to."

Peter laughed. "I'm sure he doesn't."

"I'll see you soon, baby," May said. "I love you."

"Love you too, May. And… thanks."


End file.
